here we are a week in and so far... so good. that's not to say that this new year is not without some things lacking... i have a family member (grandmother) who's been in the hospital for a week or so. i don't think it is too serious, but i may be getting the dumbed down and condensed version to keep family from bugging out. hopefully, it isn't that serious... but prayers would be appreciated.
in other news. it's cold. if you're anywhere but sunny california... i'm sure you know that. the northeast is getting dumped on... even places along the atlantic that rarely see temps below 40 are having to bundle up. poor farmers in FL are having to knit scarves for crops. not to sound cliche... but "so much for global warming". seriously - please kill me now for saying that. whenever i hear a person utter those words, my skin crawls, and i want to punch them right in the cake hole that uttered those very words... which is funny as that is not my demeanor. what's a person to do when they are the very thing they dislike in this world. i'm not sure... but i need to come up with some sort of a solution for that.
relating to that. i'm a person who really tries hard to look for the positive in people and really attempts to like people. ...but... where is the disconnect when a person who likes all other people... dislikes them self?! is it that i absorb all these things that i should normally dislike someone over and somehow apply them to myself? ...or do i dislike myself for liking people i know aren't worthy of my time, effort, sympathy or even empathy? i don't know... i don't want to be so critical of people and judgmental; but i think that inflicting these feelings of disgust upon myself isn't conducive to me being healthy. perhaps it's because i know that deep down, i'm strong and able to absorb and disperse these emotions... i'm not really sure. there are things that i do to myself that aren't healthy... i suppose it's related to people who are "cutters"... something that gives them control and allows them to inflict/express pain, exert control over something... to be the sadist and the masochist with no strings attached and at nobody's expense but their own. ...regardless, i really need to come up with healthy ways to release these emotions (at least closer to healthy then my present means). ...the solution to my problems, becomes the cause... hmm... you've just been witness to an epiphany a moment of my self realization.
take these ramblings for what they are worth... perhaps nothing, but if you can relate; i hope that you can take something away from them... or if you care to share... please post a comment and leave something behind.
1.1.10
did someone say something crass.. or did a ball drop?
happy new year... 2010... i guess we'll see what's in store for us all won't we? i hope it's a decent year for all of us. i hope we make more sense of things this year and all recover things we lost or took a hit on this year.
xcheersx
xcheersx
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
